Strength looks different in midlife
Becoming a dad has a mirror effect. It doesn’t just reflect who you are, it shows you who you need to be.
As I move deeper into my 40s, my relationship with strength has changed. It matters less how it looks and more what it allows me to do.
Being useful. Being reliable. Being physically capable for the people who depend on me.
At a shallow level, I’d quite like to be a future contender for top five male physiques in the retirement home.
But that’s not the real goal.
The real goal is to be strong and agile enough to cause mischief with my grandkids when they come to visit.
Lowering friction beats chasing motivation
I don’t need sophisticated equipment or perfect conditions to work towards that.
One of the biggest benefits of training at home is reducing the hurdles that stop people moving at all.
The getting ready. Leaving the house. Time pressure. The feeling of being watched or judged.
Lower the friction and consistency becomes much easier.
If you work from home, you don’t need a gruelling hour carved out of your day. You can spread movement throughout it. A few sets here. A few sets there.
For many people, that’s far more sustainable.
Trusting your body matters more as you age
One of the biggest lessons from the past year has been prioritising my legs.
When I do this, sleep improves. Movement confidence improves. My body feels more trustworthy at 46.
And trust in your own body becomes increasingly important as you age.
Relying only on tidy, efficient movement will only get us so far. The body doesn’t always want tidy. It wants full physical expression.
Twisting. Turning. Playing.
Children understand this instinctively. They move fluidly and generate force through the whole body.
Part of training well in midlife is relearning how to move as a unit again.
Rotation. Coordination. Balance.
Ironically, by focusing less on chasing muscle and more on moving well, I’ve managed to maintain it anyway.
Think in decades, not months
While the body is complex, what it needs is often simple.
Consistent movement. Quality sleep. Natural food. Patience.
Think in decades, not 30-day transformations.
This time of year, a lot of people think about resolutions.
But for busy dads especially, the better question might not be:
“What do I want to look like?”
But: “What do I want to be capable of?”
Building muscle is often just a welcome side effect of thinking long term.
Looking after yourself isn’t selfish. It’s responsible.
This perspective is shaped by conversations with busy dads in Putney, Wimbledon, Richmond and Balham - a small sample of a much wider reality.